I am in South Carolina for work this week and have done a lot of driving. It’s a big state! I was in Myrtle Beach yesterday and this morning. I am now in Columbia. As I drive around for work, I listen to quite a few podcasts. If you have not checked out the Huberman Lab podcast, you need to! He is a neurobiologist and covers many interesting topics. It’s by far my favorite podcast.
Health Effects & Risks of Kratom was a very interesting show that I listed to the last two days. We’ve all seen Kratom in the gas stations and convenience stores. There was a lot I did not know about this substance. I have never tried Kratom, but had heard it could be addictive. As it turns out, it IS addictive. Tune in to his podcast to learn more!
Huberman has also done some interesting deep dives into how getting into nature increases focus, cognition and health. I may have shared the link to that podcast in an earlier entry. The Japanese call it “forest bathing” and have done numerous studies on the effects of nature on mind, body and spirit. The connection between nature and the human psyche amaze me.
As I headed out of Myrtle Beach today, I stopped at an Urgent Care. My ear is not improving on the second round of antibiotics. Boo. I was, however, pleasantly surprised by how quickly they got me in and out. I’m hoping the different antibiotic I was given today wipes out the middle ear infection. <prayers please> I’ve been offering it up for all those who suffer from vertigo! I do not know how y’all do it (a few friends who read suffer from vertigo). Only 161 days until my ENT appointment. I am also on a wait list and hoping that something will open up sooner. It can’t come fast enough.
I usually do some form of exercise once I get to my hotel in the early evening, but tonight I felt so awful that I did NOTHING. I am absolutely thankful for my health. I told a coworker today that I am not used to feeling sick (I’m not sick, sick…the dizziness makes me nauseous). I realize this middle ear infection is but a minor issue compared to what many others deal with on a daily basis. I will thank God for my health again tonight as I head to sleep! I have much to be thankful for.
It’s 83 days until we take off on our Appalachian Trail hike! I’m very excited about this opportunity. When I was growing up, we didn’t hike and camp. I had no idea that such trails existed until I was in high school or later. If I was able to go back in time, I might tell younger Pattie to hike the AT, PCT or CDT. Knowing what I know now, I believe it would have been very therapeutic undertaking. I have been able to do many trails along the AT, but I wonder if I’ll ever hike the entirety of the Appalachian Trail? Only time will tell.
Getting out in nature has definitely helped me heal over the last decade. It continues to refresh my mind, body and soul. One of the things I encourage other women to do after abandonment is to join a hiking or kayaking group. My kayaking group saved me a thousand times over. Not only have I met lifelong friends, being outside literally healed my heart and soul. While life is amazing at the moment, one never truly gets over abandonment.
Over the last decade, I have also grown through helping other women who are facing abandonment. It wasn’t easy to get my life back and the truth is — one’s heart is scarred forever after abandonment. It’s hard for many folks to understand that it doesn’t just go away in a few years. The anxiety that the abandonment created will always be there lurking in the background. It’s a scar that many women carry to their grave. Even those women who happily remarry. In one support group, there are women who were abandoned 20-30 years ago and still have struggles. I write to bring awareness. I write to heal.
If you are one of those women who still suffers many years later, do not be ashamed! The fact that your abandonment or divorce still affects you many years later is a testament to the kind of woman that you are! You loved deeply and the betrayal created a very deep wound. I am thankful that my husband, Marty, truly understands that this wound has left a deep scar. Abandonment changes a person. It does NOT make you a bad person if you talk about the hurt or use your experience to help others. I know that I am not everyone’s cup of tea. God did not create me to be. I am very open and I am involved in several support groups. From day one, I have been honest with Marty about my anxieties and worries.
If you are out there wondering if you will ever find someone who will love ALL of you — including the broken parts — I want to give you hope. Be honest. Be yourself. You will find the person who loves you — even when you expose your deepest fears, anxieties and the scars on your heart. I fully admit that I am not always easy to love! I am very thankful that Marty sticks around through my panicked moments and all the others. I am blessed.
Planning for this 70 mile AT hike is a lot of fun! I know that getting out on the trail with Marty will help my brain and my body. Life is too short to spend anxiety ridden and not enjoying life! If you’ve got worries or troubles – go get out on the trail! I promise you that it will do your mind, body and spirit good!
My Little Red Bike 