Last weekend, Marty and Sean put a lift kit on my Jeep! This has been something we have been talking about for a very long time. On some of our adventures, we’ve hit dead ends, because we just didn’t have the clearance. One time, we left the chainsaw at camp, so we had to walk an extra mile to get to the trail. <laughter> They installed a 2 1/2 inch AEV kit on my Wrangler. It looks great.
In a few weeks, we will be going on an overland camping trip with a few friends, so last weekend was the perfect weekend to get this done. I’ve always had the dream of owning a Jeep Wrangler and being able to go off road to remote places to camp. In a few weeks, we will be tent camping on this overland trip as we have not scouted the area to see if we can bring our little off-road camper.
After Mass last Sunday, we went to the OHV trails in Uwharrie and had a blast. We both drove some of the trails. I don’t think we will be adventuring down any roads and tough as the trails in Uwharrie, but it’s nice to know we can! If we ever go out west, we might encounter a few of the rougher trails and that would be a lot of fun.
Currently, I am finally fully staffed in 4 or my 5 divisions, so I am still traveling a lot to help out in one of therm. Work has been a bit crazy. Ha ha. Just counting down the years until retirement. Our current plan is to retire in 5 1/2 years.
I cannot wait to be able to do all of the things we love ALL the time. But for now, I’ve got to work……so I make the best of my time off. I like to work hard and play harder. It all goes in cycles, doesn’t it? Thankfully, I love my job! I work for an AMAZING company. We work as a team to get the job(s) done. And not for a 180……
In the last few months, I’ve been thinking about many things. Almost 9 years ago, I joined an amazing group of women who have all been abandoned by their husbands. I’m still an active member in this group. Not because I need it for myself, but because I remember how hard it was to breathe and to get through every single minute of those early days. Survivors helped me through the tough times, so I stick around and try to help others. I’ve had women contact me through my blog, too. It’s not a club any of us ever wanted to be included in, but here we are. Life sometimes hands you things you did not ask for and all you can do is to get through it. I can say with 100% certainty that my close friends who had been through it helped me navigate the rough waters. One friend invited me to Divorce Care. I credit this program at her church for a large part of my surviving what my heart felt I would not live through.
My therapist has really helped me a lot in this area, too. I cannot stress it enough– go to therapy! It is transformative! I still go to therapy several time a year. Thankfully I am in a much better place than I was 9 years ago, but every once in a while, my heart still aches.
Sharing experiences and helping others through similar trials is part of the human experience. I find that there are folks who think that 9 years out, all wounds should be healed and there will be no residual trauma. Unfortunately, like I have said in the past, divorce is so painful because it is literally the tripping apart of one flesh. It creates many wounds, some of which never really heal. As my therapist says, “When you have children, you are not divorced from someone, you are divorced to them.” My wounds have healed, for the most part. When they get reopened, I head back to therapy or to the wonderful group of women I have befriended over the years.
We are all called to be saints. Like most of you, I am a work in progress. I’m just a human trying my best and I often miss the mark. I appreciate al of the positive comments and private messages I have received over the years. I know that I have upset a few readers with the personal information I’ve shared. It’s never been my intent to hurt anyone. I honestly share for those who were once where I was. I did not think I would survive. Many days, I wished God would just end my suffering. To be clear, I was never at risk of self harm– but the emotional pain was so intense that it caused literal physical pain. Many nights after work I sat in my bedroom and LITERALLY cried out to God. Screamed at the top of my lungs. I sobbed.
Reading blogs of other women, watching their videos and sharing in groups literally helped me to survive on the days the pain was so bad that I couldn’t continue. In those first several years, I followed blogs of women who journaled about their experience with being abandoned. I don’t know if those blogs still exist today, but there were several women I followed daily and it truly helped my healing process. They talked about the good, the bad and the ugly. I felt less alone with my own feelings.
I am still a devout Catholic and God has reminded me who it is that He says I am. Way back 9 years ago, I thought I was worthless if I wasn’t a wife. I thought my husband leaving me meant I was a horrible Catholic. In my mind, I couldn’t be Catholic and divorced. With the support of friends who have been there and going to groups at Churches like Divorce Care, I survived. I followed other women’s daily blogs on their journey to recovery. Catholic women who were on the same journey to find themselves again. I wasn’t the only one who felt less Catholic because my husband left me. I survived and went on to thrive. Their stories inspired me and gave me hope. Through the sharing of their experiences online, I realized I was going to be okay. I realized that I would be able to rebuild my life— I am so thankful for the women who shared their journeys with me. I realized that I was still CATHOLIC. Divorce didn’t make me any less Catholic! This was huge and it took at least 4 years before I felt comfortable again.
All this to say that I have removed some blog posts that were hurtful to a few folks. I’m still going to blog and share what I share, but will be careful not to violate anyone’s privacy. I really think my readership is less than 10 people. Ha ha. I also like to blog about the trails and outdoor adventures that we take. As an example, when Marty was researching Jeep lift Kits, we watched many YouTube videos and read quite a few blogs. I saw we, because I watched the videos with him. This helped him decide which lift kit would be best for us.
We have a dream of section hiking the entire Appalachian Trail. We read blogs and watch videos on the various sections before heading out. There is a plethora of information on the internet that can help you be prepared for any outdoor adventure you’d like to take. We have apps that help us find water sources, etc. But reading about real people and their adventures helps us prepare, too.
Next weekend, we are planning a 20 mile backpacking trip on the AT. Next month, we are still planning the 100 mile backpacking trip on the AT. AND…..next July — the 100 mile wilderness in Maine. It’s going to all be epic.
**Sean has given me permission to mention him in my blog.
My Little Red Bike 